bible

bible
1. (bible) (8139↑, 3455↓)
An ancient novel full of murder, corruption, homosexuality, bestiality, incest and cruelty. It is often read to children on Sunday.
Author: The Canadian Information Minister http://bible.urbanup.com/125832
2. (Bible) (4411↑, 2762↓)
The Bible is probably the best book ever. You can use it as a coaster, hit people with it, look funny and quote it, eat the pages, fire fuel, toilet paper, start a war, control the stoopid people of the world, read it and become president, Hanaukkah present, piss off the Muslims, and turn back the clock.

I used my bible yesterday as a fiber subustitute.

3. (Bible) (2353↑, 1216↓)
Old Testament: God creates the universe and he sees it and it's serious business, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her " Apple or GTFO"(cuz she was already showing tits). She chooses the former and then her and her fuck buddy Adam get b& from Eden for being trollbait. Then a lot of serious fucking incest occurs and we get the human race (which explains a lot, really). Then later, God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowning the ancient Nazis; God Lol'd. Some other less important shit happens, mostly composed of a bunch of faggots writing emo poetry about god for him to fap to. New Testament: God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday God gave Jesus more cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life, and some CP. Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had god mode turned on though, so he waited 3 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server, and laughed at the Jews. After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never fucking said but everybody listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid. THE END - By Noah McHugh

I read the bible, it was epic as hell.

4. (bible) (1295↑, 913↓)
\#1 Fiction Best Seller

what is the need for a bible example?

5. (Bible) (1222↑, 889↓)
A tremendous book that cultivates the [belief] that a cosmic Jewish [Zombie] who was his own [father] can make you live forever if you symbolically [eat] his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your [master], so he can remove an evil force from your [soul] that is present in [humanity] because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

The Bible helped me stop masturbating and taught me the value of [space docking] with God.

6. (Bible) (2391↑, 2142↓)
what atheists hate

wow those atheists sure do hate the bible

Author: truth speaker http://bible.urbanup.com/1071244
7. (bible) (2070↑, 1833↓)
The bible, the most widely used form of propaganda and control in the world. The followers of the relegion are blindly following a god that punishes others for not following him...Example, "hell". Those who know of the crusades a long time ago know that this "god" isnt exactly "good". What god would kill his own people just because they dont want to follow him? That doesnt sound like a god to me...that sounds like a tyrant and evil abomanation...But hell, no one has proved that god exists...and no one has disproved it either...All we can do is wait for the truth to come to us. And if he does exist and sends me to hell, i dont care because I WOULD RATHER LIVE LIFE THE WAY I WANT THAN TO BLINDLY FOLLOW A TYRANT...

God is a method of control, maybe it is not the relegion or the god that is bad, but maybe the people of that relegion.

Author: penguin penguin http://bible.urbanup.com/1402131
8. (bible) (1170↑, 979↓)
b- basic i- instuctions b- before l- leaving e- earth

this is a cool difinition of the bible

Author: Aaron McCleery http://bible.urbanup.com/1774347
9. (bible) (1239↑, 1083↓)
The Bible is one of the oldest and most distributed books in the world. In the Middle Ages people were killed for reading or translating it, but today the Bible is readily available. Without the Bible we would not know the author--Jehovah--and what he purposes for mankind. The 40 different Bible writers were used by Jehovah in the same way someone would dictate a letter to a secretary. It gives the history of mankind, guidance, and exciting prophesy regarding the near future. The overall theme of the Bible is the "Kingdom of God"--the solution to man's problems.

Dude, before you bash the Bible try reading a little first.

10. (Bible) (774↑, 657↓)
Christian holy book. highly flammable.

i heard bibles burn red and you can see satan in the smoke...or jesus, whichever's funnier.

11. (bible) (560↑, 448↓)
pronounced: buy-bull. a bunch of stories put into a book and deemed "holy". believe it or you burn in hell.

atheist: i don't believe in your silly bible. child-molesting priest: YOU GO TO HELL. YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIIIEEE.

Author: ChristineObscene http://bible.urbanup.com/2894495
12. (bible) (712↑, 614↓)
a poorly written book that contradicts it self, and is dis-proven by science.

my il-logical teacher tried to get me to read the bible.

13. (Bible) (379↑, 293↓)
A religious book that is found in many churches and book stores. It is updated many times. It talks about death, cruelty, greed, the difference between Heaven and Hell and threatens you to believe in Jesus and God or you'll go to hell. Most of it is false. It was made only to keep the world in order and teach to fear the unknown. How is a book like this legal, anyway?

"I read the BIBLE in church today." "The BIBLE scares me\!"

Author: Lauren Mizell http://bible.urbanup.com/2364409
14. (bible) (603↑, 519↓)
A fictional book that millions of people believe is true.

The bible is one of the most known fictional books.

15. (Bible) (356↑, 279↓)
The fictional use of christian mythology used to inspire fear, and value of poverty in young children. When used in conjunction with candy it also serves as bait for catholic priests.

Want to read the bible before sunday mass, i have some candy.

Author: Brandon Geveshausen http://bible.urbanup.com/3026922
16. (Bible) (254↑, 181↓)
This critically acclaimed and book (also referred to as "The Holy Bible") is one of the all-time bestselling science fiction/fantasy/bullshit novels. It has even sold more copies than Harry Potter, making it the most successful work of fiction ever. The book follows the chronology and adventures of "God", a seemingly omnipotent and ubiquitous fellow. This book has been highly controversial, as it is involves murder, rape, incest, and other sorts of epic shit. It has been so successful that it has even managed to garner its own cult following (for some reason calling themselves "Christians"). Many gullible dumbfucks have referred to this book as a scripture of their "religion", whatever the hell that is. It is believed that "God" created the universe with no other reason than to play a game of "The Sims" against his brother-in-law turned arch-nemesis, Satan. Strangely, as well as being the bestselling work of fiction, it is also one of the most critically panned pieces of shit ever; it has gained notoriety for having been given a -28% approval rating by Rotten Tomatoes, and the only thing on their site labeled "utter buffalo shit".

Bob: Hey, did you read the new book, "The Holy Bible"? More like "The Holy Shit This Sucks Monkey-Fuck Bible". It sucked hard. Sucked ass through a straw. It was like fuckballs dipped in chocolate. It was like puke up a donkey's ass. What a shitload of motherfucking bullfuck\! I'd rather eat snot and diarrhea vomited out of a buffalo's dick. This thing is such a piece of fuckin' shit. Yeah, you're better off fucking shit than fucking with this fucked-up shit. You don't know shit about how fucking shitty thing fucking shit is. It's so bad it sucks. It's so fucking suck it fucks\! Assfuck "Christian": That book isn't new, it's been around for thousands of years, you shitpie\! Bob: Really? Assfuck "Christian": YES\! It's THE BIBLE\! MY RELIGION\! Bob: Jesus fucking H. Christ\! W'th'fuck'sa religion?

17. (bible) (1486↑, 1413↓)
A 2000 year old book of pure fiction, popularly used by right wing Americans to backup their close-minded views of society. Despite the complete lack of evidence for anything contained within it's pages, many people still continue to worship this book, just because it happens to be old.

Wow, that Bible sure makes good toilet paper

18. (bible) (188↑, 116↓)
A historically ficticious piece of literature written to inspire the gullible, bring fear to small children and provide a good substitute for fire wood. Does not mention dinosaurs.

"Gee whiz\! The bible does not mention [dinosaurs]. Must be based on factual occurences\!" "The [priest] read the bible alone with the children. He must be a good guy and not a [pedophile]"

19. (bible) (399↑, 329↓)
The bible is widely believed to be the second most successful fictional work in human history, surpassed only recently by Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. The corporation owning rights to the bible is currently being investigated in Brussels for monopolistic activities and anticompetitive actions including the Crucades, the Insquisitive, and the bundling of its latest version with Windows Media Player 9. Officials called the first two counts baseless, arguing that the tragic loss of life associated with those incidents was in no way meant to dissuade the competition or retain market dominance. They plead guilty to the third count.

Where can I find a copy of the bible? Historical fiction or science fiction / fantasy?

20. (bible) (296↑, 230↓)
pronounced: buy-bull. a bunch of stories put into a book and deemed "holy". believe it or you burn in hell.

atheist: i don't believe in your silly bible. child-molesting priest: YOU GO TO HELL. YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIIIEEE.

Author: ChristineObscene http://bible.urbanup.com/2892467
21. (Bible) (320↑, 258↓)
Bi·ble [bahy-buhl]–noun 1. Rolling Paper substitute. The thin pages of many Bibles can be used as rolling paper in emergency situations. Most books have a few blank pages at the end, or in the beginning, and the Bible is no different. In a pinch you can use a thin blank sheet of a Bible page for makeshift rolling paper. Most hotels still have Bibles in their rooms.

Since I was traveling I had no Zig-Zags so I used a piece of Bible paper from the free Bible to roll a joint. Thank God.

Author: Kent Sutcliff http://bible.urbanup.com/2196544
22. (bible) (301↑, 240↓)
A big marketing tool.

Looking through my childhood books I spot my first bible my mom gave me when i was five. It had a $20 price take but was the same size as a $5 dollar childerens book. I wonder why.

23. (bible) (344↑, 297↓)
The most controversial book ever. Some people find truth and happiness, some people hate it, and others kill because of it.

The Bible is what you make it.

24. (bible) (77↑, 36↓)
The Bible in 50 words... God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Joseph ruled, Jacob fooled,Bush talked, Moses balked, Pharaoh plagued, people walked, sea divided, tablets guided, Promise landed, Saul freaked, David peeked, prophets warned, Jesus born, God walked, love talked, anger crucified, hope died, Love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained.

- What other book has all the words from the Bible? - A dictionary.

25. (bible) (187↑, 160↓)
The longest fiction story ever written. Continuoulsy confused with what people think they should believe and do. It is used in church to brainwash the people that go. used by religious people who dont understand that religion is fear and fear is control. good for starting fires.

"why people think the bible is true confuses the fuck out of me"

26. (Bible) (141↑, 116↓)
An immense fictional literary collection of contradictions and conflicting messages that a religion called Christianity worships and uses to guide their lives.

Priest: The Bible is God's word. It must be taken literaly in ever sense. MC Weezy: But Jesus's parable were told completely in metaphor and figurative language. Priest: Ummmm.......

27. (Bible) (212↑, 191↓)
A Children's fictional book full of silly imaginary people and events. Some find this book convincing, but please remember, this is a book for young children. Ages 2-8 WARNING: Do NOT take this fictional book seriously. Major brain damage could occur.

"Bible" In stores now\!

28. (bible) (224↑, 206↓)
Many sheets of [acid] stacked on top of each other.

My friend just got a bible and he gave me a sheet from it\!

29. (Bible) (257↑, 240↓)
Let critical critics criticize. Voltaire predicted that the Bible would be rendered completely obsolete in his lifetime; less than one century later, Voltaire's house had been converted into a makeshift printing-room for Bibles, and his own writings were being sold for pennies. "Infidels of eighteen hundred years have been refuting and overthrowing this book, and yet it stands today as solid rock. Its circulation increases, and it is more loved and cherished and read today than ever before. Infidels, with all their assaults, make about as much impression on this book as a man with a tack hammer would on the Pyramids of Egypt. "When the French monarch proposed the persecution of Christians in his dominion, an old statesman and warrior said to him, 'Sire, the church of God is an anvil that has worn out many hammers.' So the hammers of infidels have been pecking away at this book for ages, but the hammers are worn out, and the anvil still endures. If this book had not been the book of God, men would have destroyed it long ago. Emperors and popes, kings and priests, princes and rulers have all tried their hand at it; they die and the book still lives." "No other book has been so chopped, knived, sifted, scrutinized, and vilified. What book on philosophy or religion or psychology or belles lettres of classical or modern times has been subject to such a mass attack as the Bible? With such venom and skepticism? With such thoroughness and erudition? Upon every chapter, line and tenet? The Bible is still loved by millions, and studied by millions." -H.L. Hastings

Thank God for the Bible.

30. (Bible) (19↑, 5↓)
B.asic I.nstructions B.efore L.eaving E.arth

see the Love Guru to find Bible

31. (Bible) (48↑, 43↓)
One of the oldest and best selling pieces of fiction to this day; Full of great stories of how women are the root of all evil, zombies who can save your soul, magic tricks, virgins having babies, flying people that come from the sky, people hearing the same crazy voice, murder, incest, & robbery. A book that is responsible for many major wars since it was written. Many christians use it as a weapon against homosexuals and people who don't "live by God's standards" [aka the crazy voice that everyone hears telling people to murder their children and so on] A coaster or physical weapon.

Luke: Have you read the bible? Me: Yea, it was pretty funny. I like the part with the zombie. Ha\! Good stuff. Christians: Live your life by God and the bible\! Normal people: That's a good one\! I would rather worship "Goodnight Moon". Hey\! Shut up or I'll throw that old bible at your big head\!

Author: babymommatobe http://bible.urbanup.com/4549704
32. (Bible) (48↑, 43↓)
The basis of the Christian religion. Historians - Christian and non alike - have deemed the Bible as one of the most historically accurate accounts made available. Most Christians believe in it's absolute truth. However, some sects of Christianity believe that the Bible has flaws.

"The Bible is truth."

33. (bible) (12↑, 9↓)
to look something up in the bible instead of using google.

A:"Im not sure if it's okay to kill the waitress for ignoring me past the last 45 mins..." B:"Just bible it." or A:"What would [jebus]

34. (Bible) (68↑, 65↓)
A rather famous work of fiction that took over 1500 years to write and edit and still didn't turn out well. Comparable to the modern-day Twilight series for its unnecessary length and number of sequels; poor quality of writing; overuse of sparkles; and annoyingly melodramatic characters (see: [God]; see: [Bella]). Both works are also more renowned for their obnoxious fanbases than their artistic merit (or lack thereof).

"Man, some Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door again yesterday. They scare me a little, but I don't know how to tell them I don't want their Bible." "Pfft, Jehovah's Witness. I can handle them with one hand tied behind my back. It's the Cult of Edward you gotta watch out for."

Author: atheismiscooler http://bible.urbanup.com/4238201
35. (Bible) (104↑, 101↓)
Bible- Literally means "book". (A 'bibliophile' would therefore be one who loves books, and not just someone who loves "The bible") "The Bible" of course would mean "THE book", which claims to be the authoritative source of what the entity called "god" wants/has planned/has done. Creator of great lulz on sites like www.urbandictionary.com and www.godhatesamerica.com . Completely irrelevant to people who know the Troof, although worth a read if you have some time to kill and love stories full of plot holes and contradictions.

"Yes, it's completely true that the bible was written by god. She did it for the lulz."

Author: Felix Faustus Nothus http://bible.urbanup.com/2572521
36. (Bible) (73↑, 71↓)
The best-selling Fiction book ever

I read the bible yesterday. It was a great story

Author: reddragon2410 http://bible.urbanup.com/3382915
37. (Bible) (10↑, 9↓)
A fictional tale which for many the truth is never unveiled.

Dad: "Son, it's time I told you this, santa, the easter bunny, it's all a lie.." Son: "But what about the man who has the time and patience for 6 billion people's problems and encourages his underlings to write the Bible about murder, corruption, homosexuality, bestiality, incest and cruelty\!?" Dad: "Don't you question your father's other father okay boy\!\!"

38. (bible) (42↑, 41↓)
A book full of the right answers for God's lost lambs even though it was created before people knew the world wasn't flat.

I was kicked out of the book store for leaving a bible in the fiction section.

39. (Bible) (31↑, 30↓)
A fictional (science-fiction/fantasy) novel consisting of many old Christian myths. The bible is probably the best selling book of all time. It is also the cause billions of deaths throughout human history. The reason for that is that scores of naive readers past and present kill others because apparently, they were given instructions to do so by the main character of the bible, God.

In the bible, an important character named Noah built a ship large enough to hold two of every species of animal on earth (besides the dinosaurs). However, since the author of the bible didn't want readers to get bored, he didn't include the exact size of Noah's ark. Here is an educated guess of size of the ark (with calculations): Species on earth at that time: 1,000,000 Average size of one animal: 1 sq meter Total amount of animals: 2,000,000 Size of ark: 2,000,000 sq meters = 1250 sq miles. That means that Noah had to build an ark a little smaller than the state of Rhode Island. How long did it take for him to build the ark?

Author: asdfsdasdasdggaasdgasdgasdgasd http://bible.urbanup.com/4260073
40. (Bible) (378↑, 377↓)
A propagandic book full of contradictory views on everything there is to do with life. It is the unfair standard to which the ignorant try to uphold.

There are more books to the bible in the vatican, but the Pope hasn't released them, that sycophant\!

41. (Bible) (8↑, 8↓)
A book written to record, what it's authors assumed to be, thet creation of human species.

The Bible in two sentences: God creates petting zoo. Things get out of hand.

42. (Bible) (21↑, 21↓)
1,000 doses of LSD, usually in the form of 10 sheets of blotter acid (100 doses).

Church is for reading Bibles, music festivals are for eating Bibles.

43. (bible) (50↑, 50↓)
A highly popular fictitious literary work, almost as popular as the Twilight series.

[Priest to congregants]: We've noticed that this new Twilight book is turning out to be more popular than the Bible we've been teaching, so we've decided to teach Twilight instead. [Congregants]: Fuck yeah\!

44. (Bible) (44↑, 44↓)
Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth

yo, i got a Bible so we can worship Jesus\!\!\!

Author: I am the rock http://bible.urbanup.com/3628376
45. (Bible) (40↑, 40↓)
A book which, though it has no observable evidence and often contradicts itself, is thought by many to be 100% accurate. It's as if [Harry Potter] were believed to be true, only this time, Harry gets revenge by controlling the masses with his unseen magical powers. Oh, yes, and we can never see Harry, either, until it's too late and we're 6 feet underground.

Me: The Bible makes no sense\! Christian: Have you read it? Me: Yes\! That's why I know it makes no sense\! Christian: Read the Bible. It tells you that God answers all prayers. Atheist: I prayed. He didn't answer my prayer. Christian: Trust that he knows which prayers to answer, if any. Atheist: O_o *Circular logic, anyone?*

46. (bible) (194↑, 194↓)
Better ass cleaning source than toilet paper or baby wipes.

Wow the bible completely cleared up the aftermath of my beer shits.

47. (bible) (151↑, 151↓)
The most ingenious marketing ploy ever to have existed

Over 1 billion users can't be wrong\!

48. (bible) (347↑, 347↓)
The most boring book ever.

Someone told me I should read the bible so that I could fully understand it, but I couldn't read past the first paragraph, it was so boring. (Note: Christians will call you ignorant for not reading the bible, but will insult you for being so determined to prove them wrong if you do)

Author: oh shit i'm dead http://bible.urbanup.com/1039895
49. (Bible) (15↑, 16↓)
a slang term used quite often by the Kardashian family, used instead of "i swear" or "i promise" or "im not joking"

Kourtney: OMG I saw Laura and Megan today\! Kim: Are you serious?\! Kourtney: Bible I saw them shopping at the mall together

50. (Bible) (18↑, 19↓)
The number one NON-fiction book ever written. If understood correctly it could help save your life.

God helped His disciples write the [Bible] for the sake of humanity.

Author: Miracle Junior http://bible.urbanup.com/5239843
51. (BIBLE) (34↑, 35↓)
BIBLE-book-fiction-flammable head character:[GOD] A book saying That Earth was created in 7 days,while the other 'mayority' of universe was created in one day...with moon as not part of it Than there was a man,[god] took half of a rib to create a woman,they ate an apple(not mac,fruit) and was gone to earth(guess they were at heaven) It says that that happens 5000 year ago,when universe was created? Then people were arguing about it and declaring wars,THE BIG HOLY REASON of [spanish inquistion],more wars(usually about followers of it and followers of other fairytales),even more wars,and when something terrible happens followers just say:GODS WILL...so we didnt evolve,we revolve...Nice book ALSO followers are called [christians](a big world wide cult),cuz of a man jesus CHRIST who wanted to be nice,and was hooked on a cross,but they had to redo it by saying he became alive again,and was holy,and not just a good man... also look [church],a big business who make people give them money cuz of that book,with their leader [pope]

'BIBLE IS A WORD OF GOD' 'BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT' 'BECAUSE BIBLE SAYS SO' 'WHY BELIEVE BIBLE' 'CUZ-BIBLE IS A WORD OF GOD'

52. (bible) (43↑, 44↓)
The best-selling, stupidest book in the world. Christians follow this because they think that despite the HUGE amount of evidence against it and NON-EVIDENCE of truth for anything inside its pages, it's the truth. Probably the worst thing to happen to humans. The bible has given Christians reasons to kill gays and stone "witches" for many many years. This stupid waste of paper of a book also tells its followers not to question it. Apparently many of the followers of this book don't realize that they will all die, according to the Book of Revelations. The bible is the chronicle of a vicious, man-slaughtering God that only exists in the minds of its followers.

"The bible's hold on America needs to stop\!"

53. (Bible) (7↑, 9↓)
All of the information that is necessary to understand the history and reason of mankind, the world and the spiritual realm. From The Bible, one will learn the personality of God, His trials and triumphs, and who Jesus Christ was and is. Most people in the present times do not like to believe in the Bible because they don't want to think that the way they are living their lives may have consequences.

King James Version of the Bible

Author: Corrector of Inaccuracies http://bible.urbanup.com/5993501
54. (Bible) (6↑, 8↓)
The absolute truth proven by it's own contents read by conservative arts grads (people with hunting licences) which is widely known by it's readers to be completely absurd. Howerver, sed readers accept it do to the wide range of other readers who believe it only because the highly unlikely consequences of sed book being true (eternal hellfire). This is known as the best option theory. In reality anything goes and one idea is just as good as another since the principles of metaphysics are unknowable, therefore readers of the bible choose to formally declare it's principles as truth to keep the best possible outcomes on their side.

*Judgement day comes and trumpets sound Rev. J.T. Holmes: No accountability Mothafucka\! hell yeah\! Metaphysical game theory for the motherfucking win\! you should have read the goddamn rules before you showed up at reality atheists\! anything goes\! you choose the fucking best option for your self interests, not the one that makes the most sense idiots. Best case scenario me, heaven. Worst case, dust. Best case scenario you, dirt, worst case, hell. hahahahahahah. Better get to that black hole you love so much or lou ghericks disease won't be the worst of your troubles... shoulda read the bible. Stephen Hawking: Fuck you.

Author: Reverend J.T. Homeslice http://bible.urbanup.com/5786691
55. (Bible) (22↑, 24↓)
A book which contains a lot of nonsenses and incoherent ideas with no back-up information at all. It' s also the biggest mind-manipulating tool ever.

Reading a [Bible] is a waste of time.

Author: SoullessDeath http://bible.urbanup.com/4491735
56. (Bible) (36↑, 38↓)
The Bible is the Word of God. It has many writings of apostles and prophets. It is the right way to live in Christians eyes. It has an answer to any question about life and its struggles.

Ever since I started reading the Bible, my life has changed for the better.

57. (bible) (200↑, 202↓)
A great story book that Bible is. This great book of bullshit is used by controllers of the mass idiots and read to frightened people in 'Houses of God' on Sundays.

Atheist \#1 - Wowee, the Bible sure does suck. Atheist \#2 - Yeah, let's go celebrate freedom from indoctrination\! p.s. How can it be a 'House of God' if God doesn't exist?

58. (Bible) (6↑, 9↓)
To bible someting is to "swear to god" that something is true or false, or generally took place.

bob: did ashley actually jump of the roof alex: bible, she seriously did\! bob: whoa ashley: i actually jumped off the roof jen: no way\! ashley: bible\! jen: whoa

Author: cannonshannon http://bible.urbanup.com/5934608
59. (Bible) (2↑, 5↓)
Basically, the Oprah of early times

If the bible says it, its gotta be true

Author: Mr. Seuss, PhD http://bible.urbanup.com/5864825
60. (Bible) (21↑, 24↓)
A book of contents that is so simple that a child can grasp yet baffles many adults. The Bible is believed to be inspired by a relational deity YHWH, manifesting his character that crescendos at the death and resurrection of Jesus, the cross. The Bible is often described as a Love letter, as agape (unconditional) Love is a recurring theme. The Bible is one of the most influential books of all time and for literary purposes well worth a read. Translated from Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic in which the King James Version (KJV) or NewKJV is supposedly the most accurate English translation. It is divided in two segments yet unitarily one. The Old Testament is the New Testament concealed whilst the New Testament is the Old reviled. Testament meaning covenant, and in its context: the Old Relational agreement between man and God/ the New Relational Agreement. It is preyed upon by ignorant sceptics, bashed by intellectual cowards and profaned by foolish zealots. Often taken out of historical or cultural context and miss quoted, usually done so to manipulate and control or comfort moral insecurities.

Belligerent, smug, Ignorant sceptic- Lol what? You reading that thing don’t you know it says the earth is flat which science disproves… Reply – The Bible never clams such lunacy for example Job 26:7 and Luke 17:34-35. Science, in some opinions supports Biblical text (ID). Maybe you should question your own beliefs before preying on others. Haughty Intellectual Coward – Jesus was a tyrant and the only sufficient use of the bible is a mediocre paper weight. Reply - Your bias opinions have blinded you. You dare not belittle the teachings of Mahmud. With such intellectual endeavour why not spend some of your energy examining your faulty constructivism. Profaning fooling Zealot – God hates Fags\! Reply – Don’t you know the scripture that you self propagate? “God is mighty, but despises no one” (Job 36:5), your corrupt zealot fervors have allowed you to become narcissistic, scorning and profaning the gospel truth, ironically spawning misconceptions upon unbelievers.

61. (bible) (43↑, 46↓)
B-asic I-nstructions B-efore L-eaving E-arth

live and die by the bible for salvation and avoid going to hell

62. (Bible) (51↑, 54↓)
A book written by a bunch of hippies, about 2000 years ago, who were smoking some serious hash at the time. Never actually figured for their text to be taken seriously.

"Hey, Josh, dude, let's put some shit in their about a guy, right?" "Yeah, rad man, and he can be like... uh, tossed overboard into the, uh, like ocean, right?" "Cool, and then, like... a giant fish, just like, comes up and swallows him, man." "AWWWWH, far out man\!" "And he could then, like, chill in the fish for a few days, before it like... spits him back out, you know?" "[Chilled] man." "What should we call this book, yo?" "How about, like, something that sounds like [Babel]." "Yeah, like the [town]." "Only, bib... Bibe.... oh, The Bible\!" "Holy shit man\!"

63. (bible) (26↑, 29↓)
used in place of "i swear". if you dont want use or parent forbid you from using i swear you just use "bible"

"bible" he just hung up on me\! "bible" that she just said that\!

Author: ilovethekardashians http://bible.urbanup.com/4000069
64. (Bible) (34↑, 37↓)
Word used to replace the word porn.

"Did your mom see the bible under your bed?"

65. (bible) (7↑, 11↓)
a term used to express the utmost truth. often used by the Kardashians

Kim: Did you make out with that guy last night? Khloe: No way\! Kim: You swear? Khloe: Bible.

Author: iamronburgundy http://bible.urbanup.com/5906789
66. (bible) (25↑, 29↓)
A book that gives amazing guidance to help people who feel hurt, broken hearted, lost, rejected, alone, forgotten, confused, and many other things. Basically if you need advice on any problem or situation just read the Bible, it has everything\! it talks about a love that will never fail and healings too. You should read it sometime. It saves many people's lives\! Very inspirational and some times sad too. It was written thousands of years ago, but some how relates to everything people go through today and can help ALOT\! Just trust me on this one:)

[bible][love][depressed][sad][relationship]

67. (bible) (133↑, 137↓)
The bible is known as the book of knowledge. Many people knock it. Most have not read it. And those that do love it. YAY for freedom. Go the good news\!\!\!\!\!

person 1: have u read the bible i cant be bothered its a waste of space and time. person 2: don't knock what you haven't read.

Author: by grace alone http://bible.urbanup.com/1675075
68. (Bible) (14↑, 19↓)
A great work of fiction that is currently the 2nd best selling novel in the world; the 1st is The Cat in the Hat.

I just finished the bible yesterday. What a mediocre read. I loved the characters and plot, but I didn't really feel the mood and tone of the book. Maybe I'll check out Harry Potter and see if it's more interesting than the Bible.

Author: asfdfdassdfsdafsdasfafdsfdsa http://bible.urbanup.com/4345489
69. (Bible) (40↑, 45↓)
The most widely read fictional book in the history of mankind. Often mistaken as a true story.

Person 1: OMG you need to read the Bible\! Person 2: Why? I can write a better story than that. How can anyone believe it?

70. (bible) (45↑, 51↓)
A book that people don't even bother to read and bash it anyway. If people would read it for once, then maybe they'd have a better understanding of it instead of saying it's a work of "fiction" when we have no right to do so. The Bible has been contradicted many times, and none of them were ever proven. And the Bible is in perfect harmony with science, unless you consider evolution "science' (which is the only thing it could possible disagree with). And the Bible does have reference to murder, corruption, homosexuality, bestiality, incest and cruelty. But I wonder what people are suggesting when they say this, because the Bible condones none of these things. As if these things are uncommon now.

The Bible is a great book that people need to actually flip through before making ignorant comments about it being fictional.

71. (bible) (15↑, 21↓)
Bible - Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth

The bible is "basic instruction before leaving earth." -Guru Pitka, Love Guru(2008)

Author: science of survival http://bible.urbanup.com/3410926
72. (Bible) (4↑, 11↓)
telling the truth, swear on the bible.

i dont believe you, [bible] your telling the truth.

73. (bible) (7↑, 14↓)
Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth

person 1- what shud i read? person 2- the B.I.B.L.E. or bible person 1- y? person 2-because its ur basic instruction before leaving earth\! DUH

Author: jesus rocks ;D http://bible.urbanup.com/5135259
74. (bible) (22↑, 29↓)
the only true FACT the world has ever known. It documents for us sinners the coming, life, death, and resurrection of my lord, Jesus Christ. It is without a doubt the most holy book in the world, and to diss it is to condemn yourselves.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 as it says in the bible

Author: HateonMEhater http://bible.urbanup.com/4777202
75. (Bible) (22↑, 29↓)
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth

Sam: I just became a Christian; what do I need to do now? Max: You need to go get your basic instructions before leaving earth. Sam: What? Max: Your Bible\! Sam: Ooooh\! I see.

Author: The Stinky Cheese Girl http://bible.urbanup.com/4337591
76. (Bible) (33↑, 40↓)
A guide for life. The only pure truth that you will ever read. A love story from God to us. The instruction book that will guide us to Heaven. If you accept Christ as your Savior, you will spend eternity in happiness and joy with God.

Person: How do I achieve pure happiness? Good Friend: Read your Bible and do as it says.

Author: lovemusic2012 http://bible.urbanup.com/4337512
77. (Bible) (101↑, 108↓)
The PROVEN and spoken word of God, the Creator of the Universe and owner of our soul. The Bible cannot be destroyed. People have tried to eradicate the Word or prove it to be false for centuries but have failed at very attempt, proving the Bible to be the everlasting Word of God. The \#1 best selling book of all time. It is divided into the Old (the Torah by Jews) and New Testaments (the new word from which Jesus said) and 66 books. The Bible is filled with stories, allegories and prophecies to testify the existance of a Creator and our human position between the forces of good and evil. Was written over a course of thousands of years spanning from Moses (who wrote Genesis) to John (who wrote Revelation on the island of Patmos) near the end of the first century.

The Bible is the living, breathing, everlasting Word of God and CANNOT be proven false. It has predicted the future with 100 percent accuracy so we can be sure of the existance of God and that Jesus is his Son watching over us who has established a moral code and laws for us, as humans, to live by. If we don't, then we will be judged by it at judgment day. Period\!\!

78. (bible) (101↑, 109↓)
What i use as a toilet paper.

Bible is very good toilet paper, especially the Old Testament.

Author: Someone who isn't you http://bible.urbanup.com/2570020
79. (Bible) (215↑, 223↓)
A book telling of the Christian religion. These are the steps to creating your own Bible: 1. Write about your beliefs in God(s) and how you should live a succesful life (Should be about 1 page) 2. Add on layers of bullshit (should be about 2000 pages) 3. Publish and wait for the cult.

Some insane criminal blaspheming against religion got a book called "The Bible" published about him after the Romans killed him, and now he is the most holy man in the universe. Something isn't right, here.

80. (bible) (12↑, 21↓)
bible: its an acronym, basic information (or some people say instructions) before leaving earth.

(man a) have you read your basic information before leaving earth today? man b: my what? (man a) the bible\! damn it\!

81. (bible) (16↑, 25↓)
acronymn for basic instructions before leaving earth

if you've seen the movie The Love Guru you know what i mean. Let's look at the word [bible] shall we. [bible] is basic instructions before leaving earth

Author: wtficantusedmyotherpseudonyms http://bible.urbanup.com/3750884
82. (bible) (46↑, 55↓)
4 books of acid 10 hits is in a strip 10 strips in a book 4 books in a bible guaranteed to screw you up

that bible made him go permanently insane

83. (Bible) (644↑, 653↓)
Noun: Bible bi’ble. The Bible is the name given to the revelation of God to man contained in sixty-six books or pamphlets, bound together and forming one book and only one, for it has in reality one author and one purpose and plan, and is the development of one scheme of the redemption of man. ITS NAMES.-- (1) The Bible , i.e. The Book , from the Greek "ta biblia," the books. The word is derived from a root designating the inner bark of the linden tree, on which the ancients wrote their books. It is the book as being superior to all other books. But the application of the word BIBLE to the collected books of the Old and New Testaments is not to be traced farther back than the fifth century of our era. (2) The Scriptures , i.e. the writings, as recording what was spoken by God. (3) The Oracles , i.e. the things spoken, because the Bible is what God spoke to man, and hence also called (4) The Word. (5) The Testaments or Covenants , because it is the testimony of God to man, the truths to which God bears witness; and is also the covenant or agreement of God with man for his salvation. (6) The Law , to express that it contains God’s commands to men. COMPOSITION.--The Bible consists of two great parts, called the Old and New Testaments, separated by an interval of nearly four hundred years. These Testaments are further divided into sixty-six books, thirty-nine in the Old Testament and twenty-seven in the New. These books are a library in themselves being written in every known form of literature. Twenty-two of them are historical, five are poetical, eighteen are prophetical, twenty-one are epistolary. There are at least thirty-six different authors, who wrote in three continents, in many countries, in three languages, and from every possible human standpoint. Among these authors were kings, farmers, mechanics, scientific men, lawyers, generals, fishermen, ministers and priests, a tax-collector, a doctor, some rich, some poor, some city bred, some country born--thus touching all the experiences of men-- extending over 1500 years. UNITY.--And yet the Bible is but one book, because God was its real author, and therefore, though he added new revelations as men could receive them, he never had to change what was once revealed. The Bible is a unit, because (1) It has but one purpose, the salvation of men. (2) The character of God is the same. (3) The moral law is the same. (4) It contains the development of one great scheme of salvation. ORIGINAL LANGUAGES.--The Old Testament was written in Hebrew, a Shemitic language, except that parts of the books of Ezra (Ezra 5:8; 6:12; 7:12-26) and of Daniel (Daniel 2:4-7,28) and one verse in Jeremiah (Jeremiah 10:11) were written in the Chaldee language. The New Testament is written wholly in Greek. Smith's Bible Dictionary by Dr. William Smith (1884) Title: Smith's Bible Dictionary Creator(s): Smith, Dr. William Print Basis: 1884 Rights: Public Domain

Today we are going to read from the Bible.

84. (bible) (72↑, 81↓)
1) The Hebrew and Aramaic scriptures of Judaism (Old Testament) and Greek scriptures of Christianity (New Testament). 2) The holy scriptures of a particular religion, i.e. the Qur'an in Islam. 3) A work of great authority in an area of study.

Chilton's is the auto mechanic's Bible.

85. (Bible) (11↑, 21↓)
When you're such a pathological liar that every time you say something of importance everyone asks you.."do you swear on the holy bible?" In order to confirm the truth... saying the shortened "bible" just minimizes the length of the asking while not compromising its purpose.

"Man, I fucked that 300 pound chick last night." - Me "Bible?" - My friends "Bible\!" - Me "Holy fuck, I thought you were lying about that, you're sick dude" - My friends

86. (Bible) (147↑, 158↓)
A story book written over centuries. A fictional tale about a man named jesus.

Teacher: WHo can name a fairy tale? Little Arthur the Atheist: The Bible God: Blasphemize this biznatch\!

87. (bible) (1↑, 13↓)
the word the Kardashian sisters use instead of "true story"

How did you get here? I took a car service. Say bible. Bibile.

Author: flamming-pigeon http://bible.urbanup.com/5304266
88. (Bible) (14↑, 28↓)
Another way of saying "I swear" or " seriously". Usually said in front of sentence.

Bible, I think I could just go off and fight that stupid bitch who talks shit\! OR Bible\! I think i just heard someone in the other room\!

Author: i\<3marquisss http://bible.urbanup.com/4011563
89. (bible) (5↑, 19↓)
Used sarcasticly. When a friend talks about a person and you refer to having written in your bible.

Jill:Oh my God\! Did you see how cute Jack looked in that shirt yesterday? June: Oh yea i wrote it down in my bible. Bob: Hahaha\! Kelly was so funny yesterday. Did you hear that joke? Bill: Yea i wrote it down in my bible.

90. (Bible) (32↑, 46↓)
A Book full of shit it is used to whip one ass or nose certan people wold call it a type of porno

His Mother told him to touch himself when reading the bible

Author: nickyvandal33 http://bible.urbanup.com/3198454
91. (bible) (211↑, 225↓)
Complete Trash written by MEN not some holy being wich makes it totally worthless, yet people still follow it even though todays sientists have 100 times the knowledge then the men that wrote it.

PERSON1: hey im bored im gonna write a book. PERSON2: Great idea we can controll people with it\! PERSON1: Ya and we can scare all of the normal people so the stop masturbation.

92. (Bible) (5↑, 20↓)
Another word for definitely or for sure.

Bible, he is sleeping with your bestfriend. That shirt looks horible, bible.

93. (Bible) (29↑, 44↓)
God's progressive self-revelation to humanity

God reveals God's-self from Genesis to Revelation. Throughout the 66 Books in the Bible God through Jesus Christ and the working Holy Spirit reveals to humanity what God likes and dislike. It is up to humanity to follow God's guidelines or not.

94. (Bible) (79↑, 94↓)
The ultimate Spark Note to help one pass the great test of life.

Popular versions of the Bible include: NIV, King James, and Gideons.

95. (bible) (63↑, 78↓)
A book created by some bishop named Pyrenaeus (assuming I spelled that right) consisting of four gospels that happened to not contradict each other out of the other thirty some-odd gospels that did. He used only four gospels because he believed that four was a nice number i.e. four ways that the wind can blow, four elements, etc. He, along with several other christians, tried to burn the other gospels along with the gnostics who still believed in them in support of his new book. Although he failed in eliminating the competion, he did succeed in creating one of the greatest fictional works in history that has touched billions (some harder than others) in ways that are unparalled to any other book.

If all one has to do is put a book together like the bible to rule the world and/or cause chaos, than what on Earth am I doing with my life?

Author: national geographic watcher http://bible.urbanup.com/1787210
96. (Bible) (290↑, 305↓)
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth, as said by the Genius (GZA); recognize Christ thru this book, what are you afraid of?

It proper name is the "Holy BIBLE"

97. (bible) (74↑, 91↓)
Ancient Holy Book used by Christians. It contains the Old and New Testaments. The bible is not literally real, its just stories.

Pages from the bible are often used in Prison to roll Joints.

98. (Bible) (64↑, 83↓)
The Good Book. The number-one selling book of all time. The living, breathing, inspired Word of God. God's message to us on how we can find the only way to him---through Jesus his Son, so we can obtain salvation. Composed of the New and Old Testaments and 66 smaller “books,” the Bible was written over thousands of years from Moses (who wrote Genesis) around 3000 BC to John the Revelator (who wrote Revelation) at the end of the first century. The general theme of the entire Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, is that human beings are stuck in the middle of a spiritual war between God and Satan for the souls of mankind. Luckily, the Cross of Jesus Christ, the central figure of the Bible, allows human beings to choose which side they will swear allegience to. The Old Testament looks FORWARD to a coming Messiah and the Cross for our redmeption, while the New Testament looks BACK at the Cross. The Bible opens with the creation of the Universe and “the fall” of mankind and finishes with the Great White Throne Judgement, when all evil (including Satan and his followers) will be thrown into the Lake of Fire, putting an end to evil once and for all. The Bible is used for reporoof, for correction, for teaching and instructing in the way that human beings need to live. The Bible calls itself a “sword,” proving that it is very divsive among people. Yes, the truth will be divisive but effective to save the lost. People have tried to disprove it for centuries but it will never happen. Its message will NEVER be destroyed as it claims, proving to be the true Word of God Almighty.

The Bible is the guide for human beings to live by so that we may have hope.

99. (bible) (60↑, 80↓)
The most conrtodicting book ever\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!

"Thou shall love thy nieghborgh" "Homosexual shall be killed" what if the man next door is gay i should go round to his house and kill him in his sleep and also respect him at the same time\!\! that books a pile of crap\!\!\!\!\! the bible is contodicting and needs to be modernised

Author: meee1232323232e3 http://bible.urbanup.com/2944970
100. (bible) (39↑, 59↓)
The holy book to the [Christians]. It is divided into two parts, the Old Testament and the New Testament, and is suppossedly writtten by God*. The bible is compossed mainly of various stories and rules that many Christians believe are true. Though it is read to young children in Church and in some churched-runned [schools], the bible contains mature contents such as gore, violence, and sex. If made into a film(the entire thing), it would be rated NC-17. Not reccomended for anyone against the mentions of orgies, anal sex, swapping partners, and sex in general. True, the bible has been, and still is, used as [propaganda] by various institutions. Wars, burnings, stonings, many interuptions of my lunch by christians(protestants) looking for converts have been a direct consequence of the people using God to justify horrific actions(see political theology). The above does NOT mean it is evil. The blood of the dead and tortured is on the hands of those who are soulless enough to use the bible to control the masses for their own gain or percieved God's gain. By the way, the bible is not boring. It is full of gore, death, action (in some of the better books), and stories. If classified into genres, it would fit in every category. I personally do not believe in the bible as the word of God and to all the Christians who are going to say read the bible, I have read EVERY page of the New Testament and most of the Old Testament. I do not think that bashing either side will solve anything. If I were to follow every impulse and urge to say everything on the top of my mind, I would be burned at the stake already, or at least have 'traitor', 'demon', and 'bitch' painted in blood on my locker. So chill.... And yes, the bible is essentially treated cellouse and can be used as toilet paper, paper airplanes, etc., but I reccomend against it. "Take is as thy will" -n/a "Religion is the opium of the masses" -Marx (Karl, not Groucho)

P1: Hello, is that the bible you are reading? I thought you were atheist. P2: I am just reading it as I would read any other book. P1: I tried reading it, but I didn't get the parts where God burned down Sodom. Weren't they just partying too loud? P2: Errrr...(tries to explain it without being vuglar and fails)...Go to the Health teacher. He will explain everything. ---Witnesses account seeing person1 running out of the Health teacher's office horrified 10 minuted later.

101. (Bible) (69↑, 89↓)
A bunch of anciant writings rolled into one convienant book orginating primarily from what is modern day Israel. Something that should not be taken literally to the word and some intolerant people attack it. Created by man so its fallible (note to uber christians God did not fax the bible to Moses).

Jesus Freak: The world is only 6 thousand years old\! The bible says so...i think? Intolerant Atheist: Wheres the proof the proof i say\! Burn that bible you crazy buffoon\! Me: Dude both of you need to chill out. The world isn't 6 thousand years old and science is a religion if you think about because they say life suddenly sprung forth so that takes faith since they haven't been able to replicate that.

Author: P. Kaltenbach http://bible.urbanup.com/2311485
102. (bible) (97↑, 117↓)
The only book I ever read entirely and still captivate me. The more U read this book,the more U get closer to God.

Oh my God,what a gift is the Bible\!

103. (Bible) (8↑, 29↓)
V. To Promise

Oh my God, I just did the craziest thing\! I'll tell you but you have to Bible you won't tell anyone else.

104. (Bible) (76↑, 97↓)
The bible is probably the coolest book ever. And it doesn't suprise me that losers who sit around and masterbate all day are bible bashers. I have a life so I dont need to masturbate\! I'm not saying that if you read the bible your life would become amazing and everything would be perfect. And contarary to popular belief, I'm CHRISTIAN and I don't hate homosexuals. My best friend is gay. So if you all wanna sit around and masturbate all day, go ahead. But hahah, me and God will be laughing at you.

Since I \<3 God, I actually have a life and I don't sit around all day masturbating.-------\> I'm not saying that I sit around all day reading the bible either, because I'm pretty sure God wants me to have fun with my life. But I ALWAYS fit the bible in the best I can.

105. (bible) (199↑, 220↓)
Not a very good book. Sure alot of people die in it and stuff,but not in very kool ways. I read it once,[Harry Potter] is better. For some reason alot of people like it. I don't know why it was boring and depressing. You know what else was better? [The Lord of The Rings] was better\!

Seriously read harry potter instead of the bible.

Author: Stan Lightsaber http://bible.urbanup.com/1721742
106. (Bible) (19↑, 42↓)
A ream of the most absorbent [toilet paper] ever devised.

After tearing out a page from the Gideon bible, she reached back to wipe excrement over the utter excrement written on the bible page.

Author: CatholicSchoolSurvivor http://bible.urbanup.com/3241731
107. (bible) (11↑, 35↓)
Confirmation of truth or an idea that is accepted as truth. Can be used in place of statements such as "Word" or "Chuch". Often used with sarcasm.

"Killing people pleases god." "That's(It's) in the (Bible)\!\!\!" "Nachos are delicious." "Bible, dude, Bible."

Author: Solomon Berger http://bible.urbanup.com/2987269
108. (Bible) (147↑, 171↓)
bunch of crap, sorry, but it is.

'the bible is a bunch of crap

109. (Bible) (80↑, 105↓)
"I think some cool motherfucker sat down a long time ago and said, Let's figure out a way to control motherfuckers. That's why they came up with the Bible." -Tupac

god forbid, the bible is true :P

110. (Bible) (48↑, 74↓)
The best book in the history of mankind shows us what God wants and how to live your life. still holds true to this day and shows how He(The Lord) looks out for us and how to get to Heaven (not through good works but believing)

[Jesus Christ] my savior is the Lamb of God as it says in The Bible

Author: Believeitandweep http://bible.urbanup.com/2763291
111. (bible) (43↑, 70↓)
the best book ever...everything in it will help you get through the hardest times in life\!\! its very uplifting and amazing and not just something to smoke out of\!\!

billy: my grandma just died but i found a perfect passage in the Bible to help me through it Sue: i found a great story in the Bible the other day that helped me stop worrying

112. (Bible) (68↑, 95↓)
The most important book ever written, despite what the loser atheists waste their time saying.

Person with a life: The Bible is a good reference when you need help. Loser who should go move to a planet with other losers: "The Lord of the Rings" was a better book than the Bible.

113. (bible) (45↑, 72↓)
according to sir mixalot in the edited version of 'baby got back' it means butt. it can be pretty funny in religion class - 'oh wow mrs kennedy sure has a big bible'

oh my GOSH becy look at her BIBLE....

114. (bible) (60↑, 87↓)
1a: The holy book of the Christian religion. 1b: The sacred book of Judaism. 2: A very inspiring book in any particular field.

1: While "The Bible" is often used to refer solely to the Holy Book of the Christian religion, the world actually has several meanings. In fact a more accurate description could be to describe the Christian Bible as "A bible" or "The Christian Bible" rather than just "The Bible". 2: "Tennis For Dummies is my Personal Tennis Bible\!"

115. (Bible) (33↑, 61↓)
The best book ever written, a guide for life. Whoever disses it apparently has a beef with the greatest man ever to live, Jesus Christ. This book shows that He loves us and His Love should not be taken so lightly.

Read it, learn it, love it. How else can I describe it? Read the Bible.

116. (bible) (127↑, 155↓)
B.I.B.L.E-Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth. Song by Wu-Tang Clan member GZA

B.I.B.L.E-Liquid Sword-GZA

117. (Bible) (98↑, 126↓)
A book that a MAN ( Bold and underlined) to explain his existence on earth. If only he would have known what we know now about evolution, that stupid book never would have been written to begin with.

What kind of moron believes in the Bible?

118. (bible) (40↑, 70↓)
The first work and masterpiece of best-selling author God.

When do you think God's gonna finish the sequel to the bible?

Author: king of canada http://bible.urbanup.com/2002099
119. (Bible) (98↑, 130↓)
the best book ever,you should read it

read the Bible yo,it'll tell u what 2 do

120. (bible) (31↑, 66↓)
the first book published in the entire world, read to people to boost moral and repent their sins. One of the most insipirational books ever. nowadays its used for "bible fights" in the churches

BIBLE FIGHT\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\! (throws a bible at the priest and causes a bloody nose)

121. (Bible) (54↑, 90↓)
N. sacred scriptures of Christians. Consists of 66 books, has been edited by the Vatican, and updated for the times. 2. The King James Bible, said to be the most accurate, was compiled from resources of sixteen different sources. Before the final publications however, King James had meditations made to benefit his own purposes as king, making it considered by most scholars to be inaccurate. 3.The first five books of Genesis are the beginnings of the bible as well as the Koran and the Torah. In the Christian version God goes through a transformation from Yahweh the vengeful God, to Abba, the fatherly and forgiving God. 4. A book that has taken out of context, or only partly followed so that people can enforce their beliefs onto others. n. a book that is a compilation of resources

There are many different versions of the bible, the truest being compiled by a group of Jehovah’s Witnesses trying to find an accurate account of God's Word. 2. King James had "do not suffer a poisoner to live" purposely mistranslated to "do not suffer a witch to live" - a series of poisonings that happened in Jerusalem, their pain, and their people being furious at the culprit turned into a way to make it alright for King James to burn witches. 3. God is originally wrathful, but turns into a forgiving God, upon the arrival of Jesus. 4. This is what people preach, then go home and eat a shrimp platter: Lev. 18:22: Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. (11:10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you). n. This is the comic strip bible, containing everything you ever needed to know about comics.

Author: WhyAngelsFall http://bible.urbanup.com/435610
122. (bible) (21↑, 58↓)
Is a holy book for christians filled with stories and advices for life.

Guy A "How come there are two different versions of creating the Earth in the Bible.Other one says that man was created last and the other one says man was created first?" Guy B "I don't know.Makes no sense"

123. (Bible) (78↑, 116↓)
["I think some cool motherfucker sat down a long time ago and said, Let's figure out a way to control motherfuckers. That's why they came up with the Bible." -Tupac god forbid, the bible is true :P Source: mm, Mar 10, 2005] Tupac's dead\!

Plus,you know....he sucked\!

124. (Bible) (24↑, 63↓)
It was written by men of God. Excuse you. And their is proof that God is real, go to a Christian church during a healing crusade and tell me that God is fake.

People in healing crusades were NOT paid. Go get healed yourself. Then tell me if the bible is fake.

Author: Ilovejesus1234 http://bible.urbanup.com/2895263
125. (bible) (47↑, 86↓)
Def: the truth and guidelines the way a person should live. Those of you who hate the bible don't understand it. God doesn't hate the people who hate him . He loves them and hopes they repent,but if they don't where does he send them? Sin is not allowed in heaven, so to his regets they have to go to Hell.It's not God's fault though the man and the woman ate the apple (sinned) and weren't pure so God couldn't allow them eternal life. Its MAN'S FAULT. And duh one man didn't write the bible it was writen by many men over thousands of years who believed in and expierianced the love of God. And Jesus WAS and IS real. I pity your ignorance and pray for your salvation. God loves you.I guess sooner or later you will find out if God is real or not\!But for now please believe me that he is,was, and will always be.

More info even scientists have to admit that most events in the bible have some fact.( Ramsiese was found to be real and Cleopatra's family tree is in the NIV bible. Something to dwell on if you don't believe in God and believe in the big bang theory tell me what caused that big bang and the universe, or why this was all created from the big bang? Food for thought: The Bible doesn't give bad advice\! Don't kill,lie,cheat,steal,rape,and etc, Unless you like it when people lie to you, you like it if your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you,You like it when people steal from you,or raped you. Do unto others as you wish done to you. God Bless xoxoxo Niecea

Author: Niecea Freeman http://bible.urbanup.com/1648429
126. (Bible) (107↑, 147↓)
This is definitely the greatest book ever written, especially since it is non-fiction. The term "Bible" means something related to "a series of books". That is true, as the Bible is filled with dozens of books, and also chapters within those individual books. The making of the Bible began roughly 3,000 years ago with the various Hebrew (Jews) authors, with the first writings made in about 1450 B.C. They would continue to be added and compiled all the way through the 400 B.C.'s. The making of the Bible and the writings was stopped for a few centuries because the Ancient Greeks conquered and ruled The Middle East, including Jerusalem, at this time. It would later continue, however, after those few centuries by A.D. 45, which was the beginning of the New Testament (detailing the life, times, and teachings of [Jesus Christ]). Additional writings would be added all the way up to A.D. 95, then culminating in the Bible's completion with the writing of the Book of Revelation. This great work of non-fiction was written over this course of about 1500 years by forty different Hebrew authors of all backgrounds and occupations. Today, it is the book by which these same billions of Christians (and the Old Testament by the Jews) live by. It is a guide to all Christians. It instructs you on how [God] wants you to live your life, as the [Ten Commandments] are also included.

The Bible is now available in several different versions, and is also printed in many various languages, so that all may understand and be more easily able to follow the teachings and the message from the Good Book.

Author: The Midwestrn Soldier http://bible.urbanup.com/1139610
127. (bible) (31↑, 72↓)
"The bible, the most widely used form of propaganda and control in the world." Which is unfortunate, but shouldn't we blame human nature instead? Christ taught us to love one as another and not spread hate. "The followers of the relegion are blindly following a god that punishes others for not following him...Example, "'hell'." Why should God reward people who choose not to follow him after He sent his only Begotten Son to pay for everyone else's sin through the worst form of torture ever conceived when He didn't have to? Besides, God doesn't send anyone to hell. You send yourself to Hell. "Those who know of the crusades a long time ago know that this "god" isnt exactly 'good'." Don't blame God for the actions of the sinful. "What god would kill his own people just because they dont want to follow him?" God didn't kill anyone. People kill people. "That doesnt sound like a god to me...that sounds like a tyrant and evil abomanation..." Instead of blaming God who didn't do anything, try blaming Satan's influence on us and sin. Satan and sin is the tyrant and evil abomination. "i dont care because I WOULD RATHER LIVE LIFE THE WAY I WANT THAN TO BLINDLY FOLLOW A TYRANT..." A temporary happy life will be all pointless when you spend eternal suffering in Hell.

God and His word, the Bible, is not to blame for the wrongs of the world. Satan and sin are. I pray for all atheists, as no one should go through eternal suffering.

Author: david smith, jr. http://bible.urbanup.com/3095599
128. (Bible) (46↑, 89↓)
B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) Bible is the rulebook of life, life is a test, if you break the Bible's rules you will be punished in after-life,

Life is a test, the Bible tells you how to pass.

129. (bible) (74↑, 117↓)
God's revelation of Himself, His love for fallen mankind, and His plan of redemption.

I should read the Bible more, so I can learn more about my Jesus, my Savior and Lord.

130. (bible) (137↑, 183↓)
A steaming pile of crap.

"Man, ghosts sure are a pile of crap\!" "Yeah\! Same goes double for that bible\!"

131. (bible) (32↑, 79↓)
a code word for a pipe to smoke out of

Do you have your bible? I got the weed\!

Author: jazmine hower http://bible.urbanup.com/2618590
132. (Bible) (51↑, 98↓)
This is a key guide to living a sucessful life. After reading some of y'all's comments, I am disappointed that Jesus TRULY, REALLY DID DIE ON A CROSS BECAUSE OF PEOPLE WHO RATHERED HIM BE KILLED THAN A MURDERER\!\! After all, a lady in Subway really did tell me: It is better to believe and no one be there, than to not believe and He be waiting. Where do you think you're going to go when you die? EXACTLY\!\! Heaven and Hell do exist. Just make the right choice. It's not worth it to pay being miserable and "tormented all day and night" as it says in the Bible, for leading a rebellious life. Just think about eternity.

The Bible states: ...the unbelieving will never inherit the Kingdom of God. Their place will be in the firey lake of burning sulphur. Romans 21:8

133. (bible) (46↑, 93↓)
(NOTE: this entry defines only "small-b" bible, since too many users on this site use definitions of "capital-B" Bible to argue the merits of Christianity vs. atheism.) 1. A book considered authoritive in its field. 2. The [canon] of any fictional work, such as a motion picture or a series of related novels; the history and "laws of reality" in a given fictional setting.

1. James Fixx's _Running_ is the jogger's bible. 2. By the time _I Dream of Jeannie_ was filmed in color, Sidney Sheldon must have edited the show's bible: older episodes sometimes show Jeannie escaping from her bottle independently, but newer ones imply that she never could.

Author: Ingeborg S. Nordén http://bible.urbanup.com/1734800
134. (bible) (32↑, 82↓)
the Bible was a book from God but after many years it slowly became overwritten and most of it today is false . there is like 12 difrent versions each one a bit difrent from the other , one has the trinity in it , other doesent ..etc has over 1000 contradictions. "I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers. Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment. (Song of Songs 8:10)"

I just finished reading the bible

135. (bible) (30↑, 82↓)
A religous book used by Christian religions as a guide for living and recieving salvation. It cannot be proven true, but more evidence supports truth in the bible than falsity. (And dont' start now with your evolution crap. You need more blind faith to believe in evolution than you do for christianity.) It is often bashed by people who have nothing to believe in, and have nothing better to do with their time. See [insecure] for a more clear definition of these people.

The bible not only contains religous teaching, but provides advice for simply getting along with other people.

136. (Bible) (70↑, 132↓)
The book bashed and criticized by cynical athiests and [heretic]s, as well as those who read it being bashed. The ones who read it believe its truth, and worship both [God] and [Jesus Christ], who is the Son of God.

Nevrmore has a lot to learn about the Bible and [Christianity], and especially a lot about spelling.

137. (bible) (75↑, 138↓)
The Word of God, the Heavenly Father

Revelation is like the best book in the Bible yannoe? it pwns harry potter cuz it tells joo da future

Author: God's Servant http://bible.urbanup.com/1127987
138. (bible) (74↑, 145↓)
1. The book that tells the story of a MAN that loved us (people, society) so much that HE died for our sins and transgressions. 2. A instructional manual to live life by. 3. Best Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

In order to live a peaceful and loving life one should follow the instructions of the bible.

139. (bible) (37↑, 109↓)
The book sent down to Earth by Allah, and edited by stupid people until it became what it is today\! A new edition is released every year, where as the Quran is never edited. Ever. Translations are inaccurate and the people who aren't Arabic and still try to quote it to use islam against muslims are dumb. Just go read last weeks bible until the new one comes out. Not all christians are bad, by the way. Just racist bitches like moody opoet and his whore mother. Bring it Mother Fucker. and where is the proof the Mohammad married a 9 y.o u cocksucker. You must have misread "Joel" for "Mohammed" while you were reading the bible.

The bible is one of the most successful works of fiction ever.

Author: MoodyPoetsDad http://bible.urbanup.com/1992126
140. (Bible) (53↑, 160↓)
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth God's gift to humans that is the only tangible form of absolute truth in this world and the flawless and infallible history of mankind. A book that is feared by many, except for those that understand it-which are Christians. In other words if you're not a Christian, then its all going to go over your head, so don't even bother if you're not really interested.

Person 1: My friend said that the Bible is a collection of fairytales and is based off the ignorance of man. Person 2: So in other words, he didn't understand any of it and now he's in denial.

Author: Detrimental Deity http://bible.urbanup.com/1588529
141. (Bible) (104↑, 250↓)
a.k.a. The Holy Bible The most open,honest,truthful book ever written. It "IS" the inspired word of God. If you read it and then view things happening everyday in this world you will see for yourself that it is the 100% accurate truth.

The bible is totally accurate and trustworthy.Read it and see for yourself.It'll open your eyes. People have been brainwashed into thinking badly of it by secret societies of Satan worshipers who are the rulers of this world and are total liars and warmongers bent on a New World Order.These evil secret society people have been trying to destroy God's word all throughout history.These evil people are behind such things as Slavery,The KKK,Communism and Fascism and Nazism\! Wake UP\! The bible will open your eyes to the truth\!

Author: Jesus Christ is the messiah http://bible.urbanup.com/1340052
142. (bible) (109↑, 256↓)
I would LOVE to see an [atheist] prove the bible wrong, because... Q: What is the shortest [chapter] in the Bible? A: [Psalms] 117 Q: What is the longest chapter in the Bible? A: Psalms 119 Q: Which chapter is in the center of the Bible? A: Psalms 118 Fact: There are 594 chapters before Psalms 118 Fact: There are 594 chapters after Psalms 118 Add these numbers up and you get 1188. Q: What is the center verse in the Bible? A: Psalms 118:8 Q: Does this verse say something significant about God's perfect will for our lives? You bet...The next time someone says they would like to find God's perfect will for their lives, and that they want to be in the center of His will, just send them to the [center] of His Word\! Psalms 118:8 "It is better to trust in the \>\>LORD\<\< than to put confidence in man." Now isn't that odd how this worked out (or was God in the center of it)?

This was from the King James Version of the bible. Some say that he altered it, but [GOD] obviously used that for his will... good luck proving us wrong, Atheists

Author: Proof that the bible is God's perfect word http://bible.urbanup.com/1570519
143. (Bible) (140↑, 317↓)
The bible is the truth which is why it is so hated and so attacked.

Those who hate the truth are liars and are of the devil.

Author: Jesus Christ = the truth http://bible.urbanup.com/1071240
144. (bible) (387↑, 604↓)
A piece of bullshit made by idiots who wanted to control people's minds; a book that is no longer relevant to anything in the real world.

The bible is a fucking piece of shit.

Author: Shannon Morris http://bible.urbanup.com/1891931
Related: god, jesus, religion, christian, christianity, christ, church, atheist, holy, sex, love, satan, christians, the bible, faith, book, catholic, jesus christ, gay, hell, fiction, moses, atheism, islam, religious, stupid, bible thumper, homosexual, heaven, jew, koran, torah, fundamentalist, judaism, republican, agnostic, allah, evil, gospel, jehovah
Last updated: 2012.02.29

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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  • Bible — Bi ble (b[imac] b l), n. [F. bible, L. biblia, pl., fr. Gr. bibli a, pl. of bibli on, dim. of bi blos, by blos, book, prop. Egyptian papyrus.] 1. A book. [Obs.] Chaucer. [1913 Webster] 2. {The Book} by way of eminence, that is, the book which is… …   The Collaborative International Dictionary of English

  • bible — BIBLE. s. f. L Écriture sainte, l ancien et le nouveau Testament. La sainte Bible. Le Texte de la Bible. Les Passages de la Bible. La Version de la Bible. Bible Latine. Bible Grecque. Bible Françoise. Bible Polyglotte …   Dictionnaire de l'Académie Française 1798

  • bible — BIBLE. s. f. L Escriture sainte, le vieux & le nouveau Testament. La sainte Bible. le texte de la Bible. les passages de la Bible. la version de la Bible. Bible Latine. Bible Grecque. Bible Françoise. Bible Polyglotte …   Dictionnaire de l'Académie française

  • Bible —    Bible, the English form of the Greek name Biblia, meaning books, the name which in the fifth century began to be given to the entire collection of sacred books, the Library of Divine Revelation. The name Bible was adopted by Wickliffe, and… …   Easton's Bible Dictionary

  • Bible — [bī′bəl] n. [ME & OFr < ML biblia < Gr, collection of writings, in LGr(Ec), the Scriptures (pl. of biblion, book) < biblos, papyrus, after Byblos (now Dschebēl), Phoen city from which papyrus was imported] 1. the sacred book of… …   English World dictionary

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